rob said that he'd been having less stressful
polo dreams as of late
i've been snapping awake at 3:30 afraid that
i have left the goal wide open
watching videos of european players over and over and over and over
i'd say i luddit if it didn't keep me awake at night

my floor is a combination of clean and dirty clothes
heady books
and piles of records
there's a fair amount if stems and ash pounded into the carpet
and my cat hides in the closet
when i snap awake i see my life clearly for a second
and the piles look more like home
p clearly for only a second
then i'm back on the floor stressing out about a game
no one cares about
and my cat chirps to remind me its 3:45 am
and that there's nothing i can do about it right now

i don't think dan has polo dreams
and if he does i don't think they're as stressful as mine
somehow its simpler to him
it has a beginning, and an end point in his mind
and he's content to do what he can
with the tools that he has

i don't think i've had a roommate
i haven't caught jerkin it