remembering is strange
and kind of hard to do
nothing is ever how i remember it
when i return
which makes me wonder if the things that i remember
actually happened at all.



"the lack of continuity
in recollection
v.
how things actually transpired"


this keeps me on my toes if nothing else.

there was this Chick Tract
my parent's gave me when i was smaller
and in it the main character dies and goes to Heaven
sits down next to G-d
and watches his whole life on a big movie screen

everything that had just transpired.

in the tract they come to the part where the character
accepts that he needs Jesus to save him from all the terrible things
the movie of his life has shown him being a part of
lying to his mother
stealing
having adulterous thoughts
all wiped clean by emotion drunk moment of weakness and prayer
which is the highlight, and ending of the movie.

he gets up and walks towards a standard door sized white light.

the man waiting in line behind him for his life's movie is terrified as he never had this moment in his life and he is up next to play movie time with G-d.

and the tract ends.

i never think to much about the door of light, or the scared fella preparing himself for the... other door?
at least not much anymore
which is a comforting change from how my mind worked when i was smaller.
but
i would really like to watch the movie of my life just to make sure i have all the major points right.